Shania.

There is no room for jealousy in love, I think.
Cause jealousy is self and love is others.
I know it's not that insightful but I'm thinking it and teaching it to myself.
I always want people to love me the most, but that is not what is important.
I know that, but feeling most is nice.
I'm working to love out of a heart that gives more than it takes and provides more than it needs.
I'm trying to decrease, here.

Also, I really love the Alabama summertime. That's kind of where I wish I was right now.
I'm afraid of the days that will come when I won't have it.
But I s'pose an Alabama December will do for present.

Someone called me Elizabeth Bennet this week.
Today my belly was hurting, so I had a prison meal for lunch:

Goodnight!

Cheeks.

Hello!

Here's some pictures of me holding things I'm happy about:

1. I am reading this lovely book. Even though I don't exactly have the time to be doing so. It is so worth it. When I was in Birmingham a couple of weeks ago, my dad and I went to 2nd & Chalres to glance around and to be friends and I picked out this book to buy. But then He bought it for me. He's a gem.

2. I got mail from the real Zimbabwe!! My BFF Haley lives there. It has a real Zimbabwe stamp and everything. Hales is so good at writing letters in both senses: a) she is great at writing kind words and b) she is very good at handwriting. 

3. I bought this necklace today because I felt like a tiny treat, and it was only $4.99! It has an R on it. And I didn't get it when I was born, but I am TOTALLY pretending I am the 3rd Parker/James triplet. (I do like my oreos and peanut butter.) [It's hard to take a picture of a tiny locket.]

4. This is my cool new phone. No, it doesn't have snake.

5. This is a delicious snack I have been having for lunch these days. It is served warm.

Have a nice night!

Alpha Beta Dorcas.

Hey guys!
How are yall doing? I'm well.
I was just thinking about an interesting thing. Last night, I had to interview some of the sophomores who are applying for the LEAD program, part of the honors program at Belmont (the elite part). Anyway, my friends Emily, Daniel, and I were interviewing our friend LT. Which was more like a conversation because we all already know and love her. And she is having a hard time with a decision she is making. Anyway, we started talking about Emily flipping a coin in order to make the same decision, and then it moved to the fact that last year, Emily drew lots to see which immersion trip she should go on for spring break. And we were laughing about it, but it's such a cool thing.
We were talking about how they used to cast lots for everything. And Daniel said that it just came out of complete trust in the sovereignty of God.
And that just kind of blew my mind. I've been thinking about it a lot. (hehehe). But really, what if I had that much confidence in God's sovereignty?

Also, I am going to Texas this weekend! I have never been to that state. I am so excited to see my dear friend Emily's homeland and to spend time with Zeke, who I don't get to spend as much time with lately. Also I think I am going to try to finish The Two Towers. Because I just need to do that in order to be a more complete person.
Additionally, I am registered to vote.

Happy Tuesday Night, World!
Happy Birthday, Heidi! (my roommate)
Keep up the good work. Buy yourself a London Fog at your local coffee shop. Wear an entirely gray outfit. Have soup for lunch. Slip on your favorite socks. Gather that hair into a ponytail. Rest.
These are all things I have done today, and I recommend them.

Autumnal.

Confession: I do not have time to be blogging right this moment.

Anyway, tonight I am sitting cross-legged in a cozy leather chair at Starbucks (weird cause I don't usually go to Starbucks), wearing my brand new gray socks and a long-sleeve t-shirt and a ponytail. (Confession: when I first typed that, I typed money tail.) And I just feel so warm and cozy and autumnal. I am listening to my Campfire playlist from Oh, Pioneer! and it's real nice. Have you guys heard of Oh, Pioneer!? It's just a tumblr, but if Walt Whitman would have been alive now, and had he not had an ethical problem with the whole concept behind tumblr (which I'm assuming he would have),  it's the kind of tumblr he would have glanced at from time to time. Anyway, the boy who runs it puts up playlists for download seasonally and they are so so nice. The kind of music that makes you want to be a better person, you know?
Anyway, kids, it's a great day to be alive. This morning when I stepped out my door to walk to church, it was cold. Cold. Yes, cold might be a strong word for today if you are one of those snotty Northerners who likes to brag about not wearing coats until the temperature hits freezing, but I am not talking to you, snotty Northerner. I am speaking from my Alabama soul. It was cold. And I loved it. And relished it. And I had a beautiful lonely walk to church.
And tonight, I am reading a little about Tillich and a lot about Gandhi, and this week is going to be wild and I am going to have to do a couple things that terrify me and maybe stay up til all hours a few nights, but right this second I feel real good. And calm.
I miss my dad, of course. But that will be okay.
And it's okay that I am scared of a lot of things, and it's okay that I need to sleep more than my friends need to.
Today I celebrate socks.


Here's the link to the free download of the mix I am listening to: Campfire Mixtape. Do yourself a favor and download it. It'll do your heart good.

Thanks, Jesus, for socks. Amen.

Lists for the Day.

Things I blame my dad for:
1. When I meet someone named Rich, and he says, "I'm Rich," I say, "I'm poor." (AKA being Hilarious.)
2. Sneezing loud.
3. Loving Steely Dan.

Things I blame my mom for:
1. Falling asleep on the couch at night and not getting up to go to bed.
2. Eating ice cream out of the carton.
3. Having conversations with all of the people.

Things I am up to:
1. School. I am a Junior. (old.)
2. Work. I mostly drive the kids places and listen to all the Disney songs.
3. Having friends. I do have some.
4. New church. The Village Chapel. It's real cool. I go to church at 10 on Sundays, and to college group on Wednesday nights. I really like it and maybe I love it.
5. Young Lives. This is a ministry to teen moms that I am beginning to work with. I'm pumped about it.
6. YL Bible study. This is a book study actually. It is early early on Tuesday mornings with some Young Life ladies. We are reading The Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen. I'm pretty psyched.

Things I am doing right this second:
1. Wearing my nice new Young Life tank top that is a giant on me.
2. Avoiding writing my paper.
3. Wearing contacts.
4. That's all. Earlier I was jumping a lot. Cause I guess I was hyper.

Things I am trying on for size and/or am aspiring to:
1. Memorizing verses.
2. Not drinking Dr. Pepper.
3. Being good at using money wisely.
4. Peace.

Can I tell you a secret?
This is how I feel honestly right now:
"And peace is a ladder up to the clouds
That I’m wishing I could climb but I don’t know how."
~Noah Gunderson, "Middle of June."

I know it's not true and that Christ left His peace with me.
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."
~John 14:27.

But sometimes getting peace feels like hard work. 
So there's that.
Bye, guys. See you later.

Like a Stone in a Stream.

Well hello, all. Happy Fourth of July! I thought since I've had such a delightful day off, I'd update you all on my summer life.
If you don't know that I work at a kids camp, then you probably don't know me very well. I am a counselor to a smattering of beautiful 4th grade girls. My job is to help these girls know God and to help them become more like God. Also keeping them safe and helping them have a nice time is pretty important. This past Sunday, my childhood friends Amy and Gracie and I were sitting having breakfast. Amy works at camp, too, and we were talking about some questions her 2nd graders ask. Things that start off simple turn into an intense question-and-answer session full of dependence on the Holy Spirit to use your fumbling memory of Scripture to bring about understanding in 20 camper's hearts. Kids have a lot of questions about God. And significantly more about Heaven. Often, I don't know very many answers. I mean, I dare you to accurately explain the Trinity to a 9-year-old. It's hard! Anyway, Amy and I were talking about the dilemma, and we came to this conclusion: It's good to not know the answer sometimes.
I tweeted this the other day, but I'm pretty sure that we cannot understand or explain the Gospel enough for salvation to occur. It's not up to our comprehension or eloquence; it's entirely Christ's work. I feel like showing kids our ignorance about some issues within Christianity shows them that there's not some point they have to reach to be a Christian. They don't have to understand or learn enough. You don't have to get the Trinity before you can be a Christian. Because, as Christians, we will never fully understand God. If we could, He wouldn't be God, right? I mean, He'd just be something cool that we thought of. No, by nature of His being God, He has to be more than we can comprehend. So I think it's good to let our kids see us not knowing everything.
Anyway, other than that, I am taking an online class, and it's awful. And We have been playing a lot of this game called Quarriors. It is pretty nerdy and has a lot of dice. My campers are adorable and fun. I have been writing letters! One of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the summer was to write letters, and tomorrow, I will have sent letters to eight different states. Can you believe it?
Additionally, I have planted a garden, and it may have been my best idea yet. I have some beautiful bell peppers growing. Really gorgeous.
Well, that's pretty much it. If any of you need prayer for anything, let me know. I'd love to pray for you.
I hope you've had a great Fourth!

Dreams So Crazy Ya Gotta Put 'Em On the Internet.

Warning: this blog is not for little children or for the faint of heart. Really though, if you don't want to hear about a pretty violent dream, stop right here.

Hi! I'm at the beach.
So, ever since school got out I have been having these real crazy dreams, and last night, my dream was particularly adventurous. This is what happened:
For some reason me and my Belmont friends were in some sort of Hunger Games-like situation where we had to kill each other. Oopsie. So I was standing at the sink in my bathroom at school and my roommate Emily was next to me, whom I totally trusted in this competition. And I heard someone sneak up behind me, so I drew my gun and turned around.
But I was too late. My friend Joshua was already there, and he shot me. Right throught the pupil of my eyeball. Crazy stuff. So that was pretty bad, but I really didn't want to die a slow painful death like that so I told him to shoot me again. So he shot me a bunch of times in my stomach. But it didn't really hurt, so I thought, "Well, I'll just go to work at the bookstore and eventually time will take its toll."
So I went to work, and I was restocking the shelves, and I did that for like an hour and I was still fine. So I thought, "Hey, maybe I still have a chance." So I decided to go the hospital. But no one would take me. And I had to keep begging people to take me to the hospital, and finally someone did, and I lived.
The End.

Pretty cool. Sorry if you didn't want to be a part of my crazy dream. I love having dreams like that, mostly because it's like having a crazy pretend life for a minute.
Hey! My friend leaves for Thailand today! He is going there to spread and learn about the glory of God. His name is Robert. Pray for him!