Friday, May 20, 2011

Words Are Just Futile Devices.

"You have left me wordless," he said.
We glanced at each other, suppressing our budding grins. Emily's hands immediately fell to wringing each other, her eyes fixed on the bit of skin between her left thumb and pointer finger. Emily has said herself that she has a high tolerance for awkward, but this moment was getting to even her.
We had just handed over our gifts to Dr. Jonathan Thorndike. They were simply wrapped, a plain ribbon tied around each. We had each offered him two books, beautiful books we knew he would enjoy, and we had each written him a note thanking him for being a beautifully brilliant professor. Dr. Thorndike was our Ancient World professor and is one of the heads of the Honors Program. He signs all of his emails JT and is very, very gesticulate. (Sometimes he gets so excited about an Ancient World subject that he starts bouncing.) Dr. Thorndike was our favorite professor and we just wanted to offer him something to show him how much he meant to us.
The Problem: Emily and Dr. Thorndike are probably tied for the most awkward person on earth. They are both very precious in their awkwardness, but quite awkward just the same. Me, I run from awkward, fast. If i get into an awkward situation, I either just begin talking non stop about Lord-knows-what, or I leave. I'm kind of a person who likes to fix things. I guess my thoughts in an increasingly awkward scenario are: This is awkward. If I start talking really fast and way too much, then maybe all of the awkward will go away. If not, I should leave. Immediately. I hate to ruin the ending, but it doesn't usually work.
So, back to the story. Emily and Dr. Thorndike were sitting, relishing, I suppose, the awkward of the moment. They were in their element, I tell you. Both of them fumbling over sentences, trying to express their mutual gratitude. I just started talking. To be honest, I don't remember what I said, but I was clearly following Option A of the R.M. Kennedy Awkward Survival Guide. (Yes, I italicized that. The joke is that it's a book title. Get it?)
I gushed for a few minutes, and finally realized that it wasn't making anything better. (Surprise!) So, naturally, it was time for Option B. "Well, Emily and I have to get to lunch..." I was saving her from the sinking ship, too. We exchanged a few more muttered "thank you"s and were off.
Emily and I giggled all the way to the caf. Despite the ominous feeling of having, shall we say, less-than-aced our final, we were giddy. We were treating our conversation with Dr. Thorndike as if we were 7th graders who'd just talked to a dreamy boy.
Dr. Thorndike is such a great professor, and that awkwardness is what we love about him. We are honored to have been his students. Now I keep wishing I had stayed in the room for a few more awkward hems and haws.
This is us with Dr. Thorndike at the Parthenon.
Try and tell me he's not great.

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